Weird.

This sure is weird. I haven't really blogged so often in the past, and look at me now? Maybe its a flutter-by butterfly kinda thing.

I usually don't like putting my thoughts down on paper. They simply should be in my head! In my head.. reminds me of this Mathemagic Disney cartoon I used to own on tape when I was young. It was pretty much one of the coolest things around then... There is this one particular shot of the brain being zoomed in, and as soon as Donald duck tries to 'think' and do some arithmetic or remember the tables or something, the wheels start working rustily, the gears creaking against each other, and slowly the room (=brain) becomes a little brighter, and Donald is able to whiz through its corners, upturning shelves and stacked papers to find what he's looking for! Or am I imagining the scene?

This usually happens when you're trying to think back about something you really used to like, and now its all part of this vague past, which you think you remember, but you actually don't??! How does that happen? Is it that your memories get stacked in your brain and get erased in a while as new ones get etched there? How then do you remember extremely vague things from when you really were a young kid? Like the time I played with one of these cool 'Hotwheels' setup bridges-roads-etc set which my cousins(?) had (in Bangalore, was it?).. Or like the green train I swear I remember I broke the last compartment of by stepping on it and chipping it? (though my mom surely doesn't recall what I am talking about.. and believe me, my mom does remember pretty much everything!). Some things are so teasingly within the grasp of the mind, yet they are so far away. The more you try and probe, the more frustrating it becomes!

What a weird thing the brain is, indeed?! No wonder people still haven't explained the phenomenon of the 'dream'. Why is that sometime even in my dream, I realize 'hey, I know what's coming next.. I've had this dream before'.. and yet I continue dreaming? Why is it that I still remember the dream where the skeleton was dancing on my front porch at Prithvi Avenue? I even remember the rubbery feel of its arm, while I was trying to push it away!!!! What is it that triggers these sensory perceptions which stay in your memory?

And even more weird, the 'deja-vu'.. Now, what is that all about? God bless someone who does figure it all out. Maybe this is why I appreciate the conspiracy theories when I read novel after novel :) Anything that remotely hints at a hooded situation in the existence of mankind surely does tickle me.. What if we are indeed in a 'Matrix'.. what if we are really in the 'I heart Huckabees' existentialist world... what if we are indeed just a small speck in some other larger universe? The what-ifs are countless..

Of course, when I mean 'conspiracy' I do not mean the machinations of the 'human' mind. I am not talking about the 'greatest cover-up in the history of the presidential race', the 'man-did-not-truly-land-on-the-moon' or the 'this corporate giant is doing this-and-that' kind of conspiracy.. I am talking of the unexplained stuff.. the X-Files kinda thing. But does that make me a sci-fi buff? Nah.. I still read pretty much anything and everything I do get my hands on..

And right now, I guess its time to get back to the report on the Daily Production Summaries of DEFI staring me in the face!