La la la.

You know how they say 'Dance like nobody's watching'? Why don't they ever say 'Sing like everyone around you is deaf'? I guess you can watch someone dance like as if they have two left feet and still brush it off as funny. Whereas if someone sings horribly, your ears just cannot handle it.. thereby leading to 'cat barking' comparisons a la Simon on AI..

I have these bursts of happy (read: loud) singing around home and in the car. Especially in the car. Singing at home is usually saved for when I'm cleaning the kitchen, doing the laundry, or having a shower. Just the other day, I plugged in my headphones into the iPod, tucked that into one of B's really really ugly hip-pouches from the 90's, threw some water on the ironing board to battle the static, and let my lungs loose. If you knew me from school, you might think that I must not sound all that bad - I was, after all, a part of the school choir. But singing amidst a chorus of ten girls, in the second row, and twice removed from the mic is a different matter altogether. With no background accompaniments, with the headphones plugged in (implying I cannot hear myself) I must've sounded exactly like a cat barking: why else was B standing at the door, with his eyes as round as saucers!

I have a redeeming factor though: I am not tone deaf. There are some songs, and some parts of some songs that fall right within my pitch range. These I can muster for as long as my lungs will hold up. For the ones that are out-of-range, I stop when my voice breaks and resume singing once the song is back to a portion I can sing. God bless me for my consideration.

Sympathy On Demand

Terms and Conditions:

• Choose your SoD Partner.
• Persons that qualify to be your SoDP include spouses (preferably your own), significant others, parents, sane relatives, friends, and BFF's. Persons that are expressly prohibited from SoDP status are children under the age of 18 who must not be scarred by your dysfunctionality, insane relatives, nosy neighbors, the office gossip, your boss.. You get the general idea.
• The nature of the SoD relationship must be established at the outset as one of two things: One-Way or Two-Way.
• SoD1 involves one partner being the constant sympathy demander (to be referred to as the 'Demander' herewith) with the other being the sympathy giver (to be referred to as the 'Giver' herewith). The designations are irreversible within the scope of the defined relationship.
• SoD2 involves an inter-changeable Demander-Giver designation, which can vary based on the circumstances.
• The Demander may demand sympathy not more than once a week, and not more than 4 hours a day.
• The Giver, upon entering into a SoD dynamic, understands that an appeal for sympathy must not be rejected as long as it complies with the other SoD rules.
• In case of SoD2 relationships, both parties must have equal access to being either the Demander or the Giver. A rotational schedule is highly recommended.
• A demand for sympathy need not be precipitated by calamitous events alone. Sympathy for the sake of sympathy is always allowed in SoD relationships.
• All SoD participants agree to abide by the above rules. Failure to adhere to the SoD rules can lead to the person(s) being barred from future participation in the program.

You will note that there is no fine print, nor are there any double asterixes referring to foot-notes. The SoD program prides itself on its transparency. We're believers of the ZB philosophy - Zero Bullshit, that is.

So we say unto you.. Set forth and spread the sympathy.

Snow anyone?

Snowy streets make a great picture postcard. They look perfect, serene, undisturbed, romantic even. A fresh shiny pile of powdery snow on your window sill can deceive you into thinking that a beautiful morning awaits outside...

And then there's the reality of a buried car, iced over windshields, negative windchills, and a missing glove. Ah, Chicago life. Nothing surprises me anymore. Happy New Year, by the way.