Minus robotic voices

You know those days when you feel you've reached the end of your tether? Today is the day. When did 'Customer Service' become a robotic automated system that would give you no option for a live helper? To add insult to injury, the only other way you can contact customer service is by writing to them. And mailing it! Yea, like as if we all don't know how that one goes down.

Right now, I would like to take that phone sitting on my desk, smash it to the floor, and jump on it until the shards and electronic components sink through this floor and fall into a giant vat of the most horrific concentration of CF3SO3H/FSO3H superacid mixture that magically appears on the lower level. Not that the stupid piece of plastic can feel any pain, but atleast it will melt away in the acid rather than sit there on the desk and mock me with that blinking voicemail light. Screw you voicemail!

I really HATE customer service. With a vehemence that doesn't surprise me. In fact, I wish I were nifty enough to hack into all automated voice systems and erase their programs. No more trying to tell that stupid voice recognition software that I said 'Yes' and not 'No'. No more punching in 1-5 through menu>sub-menu>sub-sub-menu>sub-sub-sub-menu, you get the idea.

Maybe I enlist a Don Cheadle a la Oceans11, who can come up with a bench-top version of the gizmo that powers the city down for 30 seconds. Only mine will be more target specific, and fry the fricking communication lines associated with every single automated service system. In fact, I'd ask him to conduct the work behind the scenes.. all I need is one giant red button that I can push, and laugh my evil-triumph-laugh, as the world wakes up to a day minus the annoying robotic voices at the other end of the line.

The sweet machinations of a hate-filled afternoon never fail to soothe my soul :)