Project Management.

I'm in a rut right now. The Obamania has worn off… and I don't feel like getting any work done. I'm waiting for someone to slap me, drag me by the hair, tie me up to the chair, super-glue my eyelids open, and threaten me to watch all 8 years of 'Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi' (herewith to be referred to as: KSBKBT) if I don't work on the MMDatabase I'm supposed to turn in soon. Yes, the mention of KSBKBT is threatening enough I guess.

What do I have against saas-bahu serials? Nothing other than the fact that I am bored to death by them, and all the BGM and melodrama like I blogged about earlier. I read an article this morning (if you could call Rediff.com timepass as 'articles', that is) about how Star has decided to drop aforementioned serial due to a sag in TRP ratings. And how everyone is crushed about the end of an 'era'. People, wake up! Eight years of Monday-through-Thursday episodes, a couple of generation jumps, and you expect people to STILL continue watching the saga? Wherein Hollywood makes fun of in-laws in an-hour-and-a-half movies, the Indian tele-serial can take the same few scenarios, and spin them out over a period of one whole season! But I do also know that Americans have their daytime soap craze too - albeit more of love triangles, business double-crosses by beautiful women, ex-es, and the timely deaths of characters if the producers are annoyed with their actors! To each his own :)

Anyway, coming back to the whole rut thing... my MMDatabase is driving me insane. The front end was completed about three months ago! But here I am, still fumbling around with the back end. (The above line sounds so bad in retrospect, as a double entendre!) Linking all these bleedy tables to the forms, selectively locking out fields against editing, drawing up queries that'll make sense to the user etc., doesn't sound that bad. First off, I didn't ASK for this project. Second, I hate MSAccess. It is an annoying piece of soft'wear(ing me thin)'. B says; the minute I complete the project and hand it off, all will be fine with the world. It does make sense to look at it that way, but like I said, I need that 'jolt' of inspiration to sit down, learn the tricks of the trade in MSAccess and actually work things out. Considering my countdown to the India trip is ticking down slowly but steadily, I don't think I have time to waste!

Add to all this, the fact that winter is almost here, and we have but a few weekends to actually enjoy. The weekend brigade is out in full force, leaving me no time to take work home. Of course, I can technically 'take work home', but it comes back the same way with me every Monday morning :) Maybe I should just dump it all on B, and use my 'Project Management' skills. (Now you finally know, why the blog entry was named thus) It'll start out quite innocently enough..

Facility Assessment:
D: "Honeeeey, can you pleeaase help me with this database a bit?..."
B: "Of course sweet, come, explain it to me then."

Information Transfer:
B: "Oh, I understand, you should try this piece of code here"
D: "I don't know how to do it, can you show me how?.. Can you do it in this section also for me?

Preliminary Assessment:
D: "Hey, how about that database, is it coming along OK?"
B: "Peeps, its YOUR project, do you even realize that?"

Safety Analysis:
D: "Boohoo, don't you feel sorry for me and my job? Did you even consider my deadline!? Won't you help me?"
B: "Now calm down, we'll complete it soon enough. Why don't you take a break from this.. I'll plod along a little"

Remedial Investigation:
D: "This is not the form I asked for here.. Can you change it please?"
B: "I can't believe I'm getting suckered into doing this"
D: (batting eyelashes) "You're the Best!"

Mitigation Planning:
D: "Guess what I made for dinner today?! Your favorite vathakuzhambu.."
B: "Awesome! :)"

Risk Assessment:
D: "You (shaking fist in rage), how long will it take you to complete?"
B: "I'm working on it na!" (plaintive note)
D: "Thanks, I'm just a little hassled, sorry!"

Compliance:
B: "You know what, just leave it to me, don't worry. You'll have your database by your deadline" D: "Ok, I won't bother you.. You carry on with the database then."

Project support:
D: "Shall I make gulab jamun today? I know how you LOVE it!"
B: "Slurp!"

Operational Readiness Review:
B: "Take a look at this peeps, I think its almost done"
D: "Awesome! Its great. Let me make a few changes here and there with regards to the color and the font!"

Startup Coordination:
D: "See how the blue stands out better against the grey 2% compared to the grey 4% background? I have an eye for such things.. You must agree"
B: "Of course!" (2%? 4%? !%(&^%)#_*)

Debriefing:
D: "Yesterday's meeting went so well! Everyone was thrilled with my database!!"
B: "Great, good for you!"
D: "You're the bestestestest!" (hug)

Final Report:
And they lived happily ever after ;)