Gym-bo.. gymmy-boy.. gym-ster!

Disclaimer: This is not meant to be offensive to the gym-lovers/gymsters (whatever you call yourself) I know and don't know... a.k.a 'Enjoy maadi, lite-lene-ka! Not that my blog is public anyways, and no one's gonna be reading it. Aah, just trying to act smart by adding a pompous looking and dumb-schmuck sounding 'disclaimer'.. but I digress..

I'm one of those people who can't gym. Period.

Not to say I didn't try it just coz I wasn't getting enough exercise owing to my lack of frequent dance sessions. So I thought to myself, hey, this should be fun! Boy was I wrong...

People already complain I am thin. Fine, I am fortunately (and unfortunate in some aspects) small built.. (c'mon, be lady-like and say 'petite') and thin, and not prone to putting on 3 pounds in the five minutes after I eat a slice of chocolate cake. This draws sneers and jibes when I proclaim I am going to try a gym routine henceforth. Some gymsters (ooh, my vocab) don't see the need for me to be in a gym or anywhere within a 5 mile radius of it, for that matter! Maybe I'd disappear if I tried to gym.. and blah blah. Nevertheless, I did make a few trips there and haven't been back since.

Now maybe its a case with my school gym, for I haven't been to any other, but I got the feeling I was getting into some mechanized trench-in-the-middle-of-nowhere! The place was jammed with a gazillion gymming equipment - if I can call it that, for I don't really know their names all that well, apart from the Treadmill and the weights :)

And its the people in the gym that made me stay there for the twenty minutes or so that I was around.. There were those who watched F.R.I.E.N.D.S. episodes while they were Hitler-whipping their abs to perfection, the ones who tried to one-up each other with the techy-ness of their iPods and Walkmans, the ones who were really there to gym, a couple of giggly girls, and the huff-and-puff ones who'd work religiously on intricate guillotine-like mammoths of machinery.

The gym is just NOT for me. Grunting, sweating, making puffy-fish faces trying to lift weights, looking mean-machine on the biceps, etc just did not work for me. I don't wanna wear any of those spandex-y/itchy/net-fiber-on-the-inside gym outfits; nor have I ever managed to find a pair of soft work-out pants that I like.. (like: feel sexy/smart in!) Nor do I wanna worry about jiggly parts when I'm trying to walk/run on the treadmill.. :D

So much so, the second (and the last to date) time I went to the gym just to try and 'work-out', I just sat on the Cycling thingie and pedalled and pedalled and pedalled and finished quite a bit of Da Vince Code the n-th time around!! Yea, I'm just going to stay away from there. Just be-ing is enough exercise for me, atleast at this stage of my life.

Maybe once I pack on the mega-giga-pounds in the future, (shudder, God forbid I just bloat inexplicably anytime soon, shudder); I'll buy a robot that drags you by the neck (or multi-layers of the neck-that-was) and deposits your ass on the road, and/or molecular-transfers you to the nearest gym and puts a force-shield around the house that does not let you back in without a satisfactory body-fat analysis.. Geekiness ahoy! But yea, who knows what gizmo-gadgets will rule the day in the future? But if it comes to that, I do hope they will make one which just zaps you into shape without any effort on your part, other than pressing a button and inputting your favored parameters. I should think about this more.. hmmm, interesting!